they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
