4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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