Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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