real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize