Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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