Reggie can tackle my bush.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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