called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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