You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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