I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize