she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
