Apparently you make a good broom.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
