porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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