I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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