Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
