after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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