i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
