dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
