North Korea, Best Korea!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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