she was so not down for the gang bang
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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