She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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