For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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