That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize