I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
