i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
