I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
