Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
