Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
