in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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