Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
