I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
