I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
