Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
