then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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