In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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