I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
