Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
