the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
