Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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