but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
