Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
