Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize