honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
