Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
