I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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