I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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