And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize