I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
