4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
