I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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