census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
