I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
