Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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