she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
