Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
