I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize