It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
