the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
