i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
