Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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